So here we are. Only three months since the entire process began, the eve before my husband gets to start injecting me with hormones. It’s Thanksgiving today and understanding the impending strain everything is going to have on my body, we have taken a moment to pause and enjoy ourselves. It’s funny, I keep acting like it’s my last hoorah. Although, in reality it is the eve before the most exciting adventure my husband and I have ever begun – the adventure of trying to conceive our child.
For three weeks I have been preparing. I’ve stopped work travel, given up my glass of wine and cup of coffee. Started eating more natural, ensuring I’m including protein and veggies in my daily diet. (Well, except for today – Thanksgiving doesn’t count!) I’ve finally stopped consuming everything I could online, deciding to instead just do what seems right. Nothing in excess, treating my body as if I was already pregnant – preparing a wonderful home for my little eggs to hopefully grow.
I’ve been mostly positive, but at certain times the reality of our situation does hit home and I become overwhelmed. The day the box of medicines arrived, we were like giddy children. Taking pictures and referring to it as our “baby making box”. Two days later, I was crying on my husband’s shoulder, staring at the box at the end of bed. It was a short lived moment, as my darling is my perfect balance, and he knew exactly what to say.
For today, I am just thankful. I am finding the fact that we are undergoing this process during the “most magical time of the year” quite amazing. I have always loved Christmas. Even with the sad memories of the loss of my grandmother New Year’s 1996 and my father-in-law’s passing in 2006, Christmas still fills me with happiness. I suppose it’s because I have never let go of being a child in my heart (everyone knows that about me). Christmas makes me feel that anything is possible. The lights, the smells, the sounds all fill me with a tingly, warmth that is only possible this time of year.
So keeping that in mind, I am determined to embrace this process as a gift. An opportunity for my husband and I to depend on each other, to be together just us, to know that our future is full of so many wonderful possibilities. To just enjoy it (well, maybe not the shots), but the joy of the process. Of seeing my body do something amazing. And no matter what happens, knowing how blessed and lucky I truly am.
Today I’m just thankful!