The Final Four

“You have to fight through some bad days to earn the best days of your life.” (unknown)

The final countdown has begun.  The day of “harvest” as I call it (or the egg hunt as the nurse referred to it) is set for Friday.  Two more days.  I am overwhelmed with excitement today.   Focus is all lost on me.  I know there is work to be done, but my heart and mind cannot stop thinking about Friday.  While I am nervous, I am more anxious than anything else.  My stomach feels as if a flock of butterflies has stopped to reside.  The finish line is in sight.

IVF_final 3Last night we began the process of the “final four” injections.  Unfortunately, due to a swelled belly, last night was the worst for pain.  But with three under my belt and only one waiting to be completed this evening, I am filled with joy that our IVF journey is nearly complete.  Upon that last injection, we will be able to cheer and know we have made it through the unthinkable.  We will have accomplished something we never wanted to face or ever thought that we would.  Both my husband and I will have survived the needles and only the waiting and hoping game is left to play.

Tonight is the critical injection, the “trigger shot”.  This injection has to be delivered at a specific time with only 5 minutes leeway either direction.  My alarm is already set, at 11:15 pm we will prepare and at 11:30 pm on the dot, we will inject.  We will make our last play, put in our last “man”, and then we will sit back and know we did everything we possibly could.

Despite the anxiousness, I am filled with a since of contentment today.  A peace that only comes from the knowledge that you have done all that is within your power.  My mind cannot focus, and I sit and smile at nothing.  It’s a wonderful feeling to know that you took a chance, that you have done what you thought was impossible, to know that the timer is running out and no matter what the outcome, you have the best teammate on earth.  And that is what matters most.

While I am hopeful that we can complete the last and final step this weekend, I am not focusing on anything beyond Friday.  I am cheering for the victory that is making it this far.  I hold my husband’s hand and thank the universe for the gift of the moment.  Surrounded by sounds of holiday music and the wind on the water out back, I embrace this point in life and know that I am truly blessed.  While my sweetie and I have not won all the games we have played in life, the celebration is that we have been able to play.  We have been able to navigate life together and whether the next quarter will introduce a new player or not, we will continue to play the game.  If there is anything that I have learned from my college team over the years, it is to be proud of who you are;  to stand up and shout it out loud; to roar like a Tiger and love with everything you have!

So put me in coach, I’m ready to take the ” final shot”!