Three days since our two little embryos were transplanted. Three days until the Christmas holiday, and here we are again playing the waiting game. Is it wrong to ask Santa for a positive pregnancy test?
We have completed the last and final step of our journey. It feels as if we have crossed the finish line and are waiting to hear what place we will receive. It’s exhilarating to know that we have completed the entire race, and it’s excruciating waiting to know the outcome.
Transfer day was an out of body experience. The strict instructions of trying to keep a full bladder coupled with an hour drive and a 20 minute delay at the doctor’s office, lead to a waiting room of dancing women. When we were finally taken back and given a bed, I almost hugged the nurse. When the woman next to me broke down and used the restroom causing us to be moved up, I nearly jumped for joy (with my legs crossed).
Before we knew it, both my husband and I were kitted out in our “party hats”, as the IVF nurse had referred to them in our orientation, me lying and he sitting in the sterile room where we would meet our little embryos. The comedy continued as they strapped me in the bed and we waited for the doctor, the nurse trying to keep me distracted from my full bladder. It was difficult to embrace the moment, but soon the doctor and embryologist joined us, confirmed our information (making sure we didn’t mix up any embryos with the patient switch), a quick “how many are we putting in”, and next thing we knew he was pointing out two small specks of white on the screen as they were dropped in. Voilà!
We were informed that we had two healthy, pretty high level embryos, not that we really understood the report card we were given. What we did understand was the confidence in his voice, the assurance of a “good looking uterus” (yes they do say that sometimes) and that we had a 50 – 60% chance it was going to work. And with that, it was over.
As they wheeled me out, it hit me. We had just witnessed something amazing. Taking a moment to pause and grasp hold of our fortune in this process, we actually got to see our embryos go into their new home. As the doctor said, I was now “technically” pregnant.
And so the difficult part remains, the waiting. So far, day 1 was a piece of cake. Day 2, I had a meltdown. Day 3, has been a little of both so far. But now I am on the other side of the worry again. I have put down the Google (yes, I have slipped at the beginning of every new stage) and am now trying to embrace the moment. In ten more days, we will start a new life. That is how we are looking at it, no matter what. A new outlook, a new focus, a new passion.
Until then, we keep pumping the new hormones, will eat a little red velvet cake and will patiently wait. About as well as a child does on Christmas Eve. Can we open the gifts yet?